When Faith first met her husband ten years ago, they instantly connected over their desire to have children. But their journey to becoming parents proved difficult. As they tried for a baby for the best part of a decade, Faith had four miscarriages and a fertility doctor eventually told her she would be unable to carry a child. The couple then decided the time was right to adopt.
"Me and my husband always wanted to adopt at least one child. We wanted to have two biological children and two adopted children. You make these plans, don't you. But life doesn't work like that," said Faith Buckley, 38, who lives in Merthyr Tydfil and is the co-founder of arts hub, The Full Spectrum Project. "We decided to have a child naturally but unfortunately, I suffered multiple miscarriages. My last miscarriage was tragic, and I had to take time off work for a few days. There was so much heartbreak. There were so many times I cried myself to sleep."
She added that Mother's Day was always an extremely difficult time of year for her. But this year, on Sunday, March 19, Faith woke to three beautiful handmade cards made for her by her adopted children. The lives of Faith and her husband Stu Buckley, 37, had changed dramatically. For the latest Merthyr Tydfil news, sign up to our newsletter here
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While they were still trying for a biological child, the couple visited a doctor while on honeymoon in Norway - where fertility treatment was cheaper than in the UK - and Faith was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome and thyroid issues. "It explained why, after 12 weeks, I would be suffering a miscarriage. Immediately, we realised that adoption had to become a reality and we spent the rest of our honeymoon researching into adoption and the practicalities around it."
The couple got in touch with their local authority and began the adoption process which took over a year in total. After their social worker told them that there were several children waiting to be adopted and many were sibling groups, the couple reconsidered how many children they were looking to adopt, explained Faith.
“When our social worker told us there were a group of siblings waiting to be adopted, we hesitated at first as we weren’t sure if we’d be able to accommodate a large family. Our local authority also helped us and said we’d receive financial support. Once we agreed to adopt siblings, we found the process easy and it moved quickly, but when we were sent pictures of the children it was emotional for us. I had to delete the pictures because they were so adorable, and I wanted them to be mine already."
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On adopting three siblings in 2022 Faye said the children had blessed their lives. "It's a really strange situation because you know these children - you've read lots about them, you've met them and they know you're their forever home. Then you start the transition. You start as a visitor, visiting their foster homes and then you come home one day and they stay over. You go to bed still as a visitor and you wake up as a mum," she said.
"This has been such a long journey and you go through so many emotions but you're just so thankful. The love for us was instant from the first time we met them. Their personalities are so different but they're such a team. They are my everything. They are my heart and my world," she said.
On why Faith had wanted to adopt for some time, she explained: "I'm a deputy head in a school. I work in behaviour and special educational needs and I do a lot of safeguarding work. There's so many young people who deserve the chance to have a childhood. A lot of them haven't had that."
After their family grew overnight, Faith and Stu had to quickly adapt to a larger household. As well as a lot more laundry to wash and a much noisier home, the couple have gained a new perspective on life, explained Faye. "It's made my husband and I much better communicators and our understanding of one another is far more calm. Our resilience has grown.
"I have never been more fulfilled than I am now by being a mum to these beautiful children. They mean more to me than they will ever know," she added.
Director of the National Adoption Service for Wales and Foster Wales, Suzanne Griffiths, said: “We hope that during this year’s National Adoption Week, people thinking about adopting across Wales will find the information being shared helpful and inspiring. We aim to answer many of the questions they might have about adopting a sibling group, children with more complex needs or an older child. Our services are always happy to provide more information.”
