Two in five parents admit to spending more time talking to their teenage children about what to eat, than they do talking about more meaningful topics such as school life and their futures, according to new research. The survey was carried out for Talking Futures – an online resource that helps parents talk to children about education and career options.

Talking Futures has partnered with Food Behavioral Psychologist, Dr Suzanna Forwood, to explore the science and psychology behind food choices and encourage parents to use shared evening mealtimes as an occasion to instigate regular conversations around what children's futures could entail.

Nearly half of parents of 11-to-18-year-olds wish they could have more open and honest conversations with their children about their futures, and over two thirds claim they are more likely to tackle important conversations with their children when they are eating their favourite foods together.

Dr Forwood, Associate Professor at Anglia Ruskin University, said: "During mealtimes, the vagus nerves are activated – which promote relaxation by slowing down a person’s breath, kick-starting digestion and reducing adrenaline. When this happens, a person’s mental and physical state improves. They enter a safe and explorative space where ideas can be discussed without the fear of consequences.

"This is especially true when eating our favourite foods, as they are usually linked to a particular positive memory which can induce a sense of safeness. Which is why, with teenagers in particular, evening mealtimes which feature their favourite meals, can be an optimum time for parents to strike up conversations with their children around their wishes, wants and hopes for the future – without feeling rushed and with a relaxed mindset.”

Michelle Rea, spokesperson for the Talking Futures campaign at the Gatsby Foundation, said: “We know that parents, carers, and guardians play a pivotal role in children’s education and career choices and decisions. But it can be hard as a parent to find the right time to talk to your teenager about what their future career options be.

“Today’s new research is clear. Shared family mealtimes can not only result in a greater connection between parents and their children, but can also be the ideal occasion to have conversations about important topics like their futures – especially when their favourite foods are at play. As a parent, making the time to regularly bring up these conversations with teenagers, in a light-hearted way - especially when they are relaxed enjoying a plate of what they enjoy - is a surefire way to create an environment where they’ll feel comfortable to explore and chat about all sorts of future options that could be available to them.”

With the majority of parents saying that they eat together as a family when they order in a takeaway, Talking Futures has created a takeout menu for parents to download ahead of enjoying their evening treat with the kids. It lists favourite foods as jobs and the food descriptions included are the education pathways a child can take to get there. There are special items on the back too which include conversation starters to get the whole family talking about the future in a relaxed environment.

Dr Forwood’s top tips for having meaningful career conversations with your child at mealtimes:

Eat your favourite foods together

What we eat, affects how we feel - so if it’s linked with positive memories, eating it again thereafter can cause nostalgia and help you to feel happy and more relaxed. This can also be the case when having your favourite takeaway – as they are often an indulgence, when eating them can trigger an emotional reaction that makes the situation feel special. With Talking Futures research suggesting that a majority of parents (87%) are more likely to eat together as a family if they are ordering a takeaway, these occasions create the perfect environment to have discussions with your child about their future.

Don’t make it a special conversation, make it a regular one

By catching up with teenagers at mealtimes on a regular basis, parents can help to make it a safe space for their children to open up during conversations and it becomes a habit in their routine - rather than having a single 'big chat' where everyone is on edge.

Use light-hearted topics as a jumping-off point

Softer conversations around subjects like football or music are a good route to talking to teenagers about more serious topics like future careers and education pathways. What’s more, Talking Future’s research has suggested that two thirds of parents (66%) tend to use more light-hearted topics as a jumping-off point to talk to their child about more important subjects – such as their future education and career plans.

Broach the subject from the perspective of their friends

When asking teenagers about a certain topic such as school life or careers, parents could try asking about it in the context of their child’s wider social group before bridging to a question around their own opinion on the topic. This allows the young person to test the waters with their parent’s response to their answer before they offer more personal information or their view on a subject. It also helps to normalise a topic which might be at first daunting to talk about.

Parents and educators can find out more and access free resources, such as the Talking Takeaways menu, by visiting: https://www.talkingfutures.org.uk/